Boyssssss

Yes I copied her. I thought it would be a good idea to just get it all out. While I have had "flings" with many boys, there are 3 that really mean something to me.

First is Christian. This is the boy I will always have feelings for. He is my dream boy: a perfect gentleman, strong in the gospel, athletic, smiley, and so kind to everyone. We dated the beginning of my senior year, his junior year. At first I just needed a homecoming date but all too quick I developed feelings for him. We would sneak off during 6th hour to the library or the park and play chess, do homework, cuddle, talk, color, read, play footsie, and all cheesy things like that. He was always holding my hand...seriously I loved that. When we were in groups I would catch him looking at me with googley eyes and every time he did my stomach would do a million flips. We never kissed and I think that is what made us special. We didn't care to kiss and we didn't need to; it was a pure relationship. I'm not entirely sure if I was ever in love him but I do love him. He was the only boy who broke up with me. I cried over him for hours. My chances with him are over, it was a high school relationship but he showed me exactly what I want in my future spouse.

Second is boy oh boy Ethan. This was my senior year. He was a chase and I liked that, I also needed someone to use to get over Christian and a prom date. Haha I'm a terrible person. Anyways, at first it was for fun because allll the girls liked him and yea, it was cool that I was the one girl he gave his attention too. But it all became serious when my wreck happened. I was at his house, driving home, and I flipped my car. It was a pretty traumatic experience and he was with me every second. He saw me at the most vulnerable point in my life. He rubbed my back and kept me warm while I waited for my parents. When I went to the ER he called constantly to make sure I was okay. He called me the next day and we talked for hours. He was my therapy. I was a hot mess for about a week. The first day back at school after my wreck, I didn't have a car and had no where to go for lunch. Without even having to say anything, he knew I needed someone. He put his hand on my back and guided me to his car as I cried. From that moment I was attached. We were inseparable. Ethan was my first kiss. He was the first boy I said I love you to and he was the first boy to tell me he loves me. It ended bad. He and a very very good friend hokoed up and lied to me about it for months. After that I was done. He left on his mission and I refused to talk to him and have not written him. He's asked me to but I don't want to. He hurt me and he didn't do much to gain my trust back. He is a very good guy and I so appreciate having him in my life but we don't have a future together.

Last but certainly not least, Wade. Wade and I dated the second semester of my freshman year. This boy has my heart. I knew, from the very beginning not to get involved with him because it would end in heartbreak for me (because he is not LDS). Let me tell you, it ended in heartbreak. Our relationship was perfect. It was my dream boyfriend and I told him that. These were some of the funnest days of my life. Unfortunately, fun does not last. I miss him everyday. I so bad wish he were LDS because if he were, I know my life would be completely different in the sense that we would be getting married. He is the perfect boy for me. One night, he was drunk and he told me he loved me. It had only been 2 months, he was saying these things when he was drunk, and probably wouldn't remember the next day so I blew it off. But alas, he remembered and said it sober. Right then I was a goner. I know I have no future with him. I so bad wish I could. Thinking about it hurts my heart. I attempted to ask him if he would even consider Mormonism and he got angry. He doesn't realize that I am doing it completely out of love for him. Maybe I'll come back and he'll be converted...ha ha. We talk occasionally, I wish we talked more but I know it would be much harder for me to get over him if we talked constantly. He has my heart and will for awhile.